interests and beliefs. LGBTQI+ young people need that same freedom. LGBTQI+ people should not feel that choosing a label means they’re signing a lifelong contract. They might identify one way now and differently in the future. That does not necessarily mean they were confused or mistaken. They may simply understand themselves differently as they grow, just like we all do. Supportive adults can give LGBTQI+ young people permission not to have everything worked out. BELONGING MATTERS Feeling accepted is important and it’s not about ‘fitting in’. Feeling that you actually belong is something more. It’s about creating an environment where differences and diversities are already expected. Schools, youth groups, families and community organisations can help create that sense of belonging in surprisingly ordinary ways. LGBTQI+ people can appear naturally in books, films, on TV, in advertising, and conversations rather than only during Pride Month or when discussing discrimination. Official forms and language can acknowledge different families and identities. Adults can avoid assuming that every boy will eventually have a girlfriend or every girl a boyfriend. These things may seem small, but small signals accumulate. They tell a young person: people like you exist here. Friendships are important for every young person, but finding the right friends can be particularly powerful for LGBTQI+ young people. There is enormous freedom in being around people with whom you do not have to constantly monitor yourself. FRIENDSHIP CAN BE TRANSFORMATIVE For some young people, meeting other LGBTQI+ people for the first time can create an immediate sense of recognition. They discover that experiences they thought were uniquely theirs are shared by others. But queer young people also need friendships that are not entirely centred around identity. They need friends to play games with, go shopping with, complain about homework with, make terrible
“Queer joy is not about denying discrimination. It is about making space for the other side of the story.”
jokes with and sit beside when life feels complicated. Adults can help by creating opportunities for connection without forcing friendships or assuming that two LGBTQI+ young people will automatically have everything in common. The goal is not simply to help young people find people like them. It is to help them find their people, whomever they are. Young people build their sense of what is possible partly from the lives they see around them. If the only stories LGBTQI+ young people encounter are stories about bullying, rejection, discrimination or tragedy, it can unintentionally create the impression that being queer inevitably means having a difficult life. Young people also need to see LGBTQI+ adults living regular lives. They need stories of who puts the bins out or who does the dishes in their house. They need stories of friendships, careers, creativity, relationships, families, adventures GIVE YOUNG PEOPLE POSSIBILITIES TO GROW TOWARDS
and ordinary Tuesday afternoons. They need to see that there are countless ways to build a meaningful life. Positive representation does not mean pretending every queer life is perfect. It means allowing LGBTQI+ people the same complexity as everyone else. A young person should be able to imagine a future in which their identity is part of their life without necessarily being the defining struggle of it. THAT is Queer Joy. MAKE ROOM FOR FUN Support for LGBTQI+ young people can become surprisingly serious. Policies matter. Safeguarding matters. Mental health matters. Challenging discrimination matters. But young people also need spaces where absolutely nothing important is happening. They need music, creativity, sport, gaming, dancing, ridiculous conversations, bad fashion decisions, hobbies, parties and opportunities to laugh at themselves and each other. A youth group does not always need an LGBTQI+ discussion topic. Sometimes the most affirming thing it
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